The feeling that I have right now is somewhat the same whenever first day of class would begin on Monday. And it's the Grade School kind! I get to smell the newly covered books [plastic is so addicting], my newly sharpened pencils, my new school bag, my pristine pad papers [in every size imaginable!]... not to mention my new school shoes, socks, even my hair clips.
Grade school for me gave me weird feelings. I would groan whenever mom wakes me up, singing a song about Suzie being woken up too... but at the back of my head, I'm starting to feel that giddy rush of going to school, meeting my classmates and friends, greeting my teachers [I adored them all], turning in perfect assignments and being prepared for surprise quizzes or seatworks.
Yes, I was a bit of a geek and nerd in grade school. It was that time in my childhood that I wanted to grasp everything. Learn a lot about everything and spare no topic! My parents didn't have any problem with me in my studies those days because they saw naman that I enjoyed going to school.
Anyway, back to my original post....
This feeling that I had in grade school is coming my way again. After all, I'm very excited about my work. I just couldn't believe it. I'm working na! I once thought that seeing myself as a laborer would be a thousand years pa. I would never have thought that a thousand years would pass by so quickly. I'm very glad that the company that I'm going to work for is in line with the career that I want to have. I made it very clear naman to my family what industry I'm tackling when I graduate.
I'm thanking my stars that I made enough of an impression to this company that they decide to adopt me. There was a time that I was a slacker in college but I guess most of the time I've been doing my best. Sabi nga ni mom, kung hindi ako nag-taekwondo, mas mataas siguro grades ko. Siguro nga. But I can't live without sports kasi...taekwondo or tennis.
This long and indefinite vacation is almost nearing its end and I can't say I'm sad to leave this routine-less routine. I'm gonna miss my quality time with my mom. Quality time with my laptop. Quality time with my DVDs. The occasional trips to the malls and even arcades! But you know, months and months of nothingness can really make you feel worthless...at least for me. It can be stressing at times, not knowing what to do with your day. So right now, I'm glad I'm going to face deadlines, bloodrush and excitement... and nothing better to top it off with than the love for my job.
Anyway, all I'm saying is that this weekend is the last weekend as a professional bum. I think I made the most of it. It's not like I'll be doing this in a while again [I hope!]. I've been listening to 80's songs lately, reminiscing my childhood, remembering snippets and writing it down in my notebook. I then realize that while some memories are vivid or vague, I get memories I've never had whenever I go to a place I've been to; touched something I've touched before; smelled something I've smelled before; listened to a song I've listened to before... in my dreams or in my childhood. It was nostalgia... it was serendipity.
At the end of this weekend, another chapter of my life closes. My childhood is finally coming to a curtain call. Two decades of memories rush back to my head and I sometimes feel tears creep at the back of my eyes. Memories I cherished, wished I'd forgotten. Memories I wanna do all over again and memories I wanna change if I have the power to go back in time.
Looking back, I think I did ok. The fun, laughter, punishments, heartaches, infatuations, pains... I accept them all because I can never be the person that I am without all of them...
I give myself a pat on my back and say, "Good job, Karen. Good job."
My life, it wasn't so bad after all!
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