I remember a distant memory wherein my family went to Yogyakarta to see the famed Borobudur Temple. It was raining and the temple grounds were slippery. Some of the stone slabs would shift and slide as you step on it. Intricate carvings of illustrations of Buddhist/Indian principles were slowly chipping away. As you go higher, what seemed like bell-shaped structures had figures of monks in lotus position inside them. It looked so real and yet, something that is out of this world.
It took us about 15 minutes climbing the whole structure. And when we got to the top, I didn't realize I had let go of my umbrella until I felt the rain soaking me. The view was spectacular. Being the tallest structure within miles, I could feel myself gaping with awe at the four corners of that earth I had created in that single moment.
It had seemed I could not take everything.
My thoughts and voice lay huddled in the corner of my mind. I could only stand still and watch the view unfold before my very eyes. It was breathtaking, yet terribly overwhelming. I had felt like I am on top and at the center of the world. My knees were shaking not only because of the bitter cold but because I felt this sense of 'lula'. My whole being lay powerless and at the mercy of this vast space. What I had been feeling wouldn't even come close to what a Divine and Absolute Being feel.
That feeling I haven't felt eversince... and I'm craving for this tremendous and uncanny euphoria. Right now I feel bound. Bound by society's rules and norms.
I wish to be free.
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