Yes, I am a self-confessed brat. I want to always get what I want... Whatever means? Not really. Most of the time, charm works for me.
Yesterday, I got so mad because my mom and I were supposed to go out and watch a movie the next day. She then said that she has to do something with her brother. When I heard it, I didn't say anything. Being the tactless person that I am, I tried not to make a scene and just accept the fact that we weren't going out the next day.
Damn!!! I really was looking forward to our lakwa. So much so that I even studied for my Tuesday class the day before. And I even made friggin notes!
Anyway, my silent treatment didn't go well as I planned. Nagdabog ako nang parang bata. I banged on doors. I had this serious, looks-like-dad-when-he-wants-to-strangle-someone-but-he-can't-and-he's-pissed look. And although I knew what was going on, I never stopped. It felt like it was the right thing to do. It was injustice for me.
Am I not important enough that I just get shunned away at the thought of another plan that happened to chance their way? I wanted to have the time to bond with my mom, not just go to the mall and watch movies. To me, it had meant so much. I guess to her, it was just a way to waste money... I don't know. I hope otherwise. Nah, hindi naman siya ganun.
As the night went on, I could not contain my rage at the sight of "injustice" to me. I told her that she needs to respect me enough to keep her promise to me... Regardless of the kind of promise... Unless it's an emergency (life and death... No other options besides my mom being and needed there). At that time, I admitted to mysef that our trip to the movies would be as slim as those super thin carcasses walking down the runway. I just wanted to make her feel that she should also keep her promise, to whoever she makes them to. And that next time, she should think about her other plans before accepting another.
Well in the end, she told me that we were going to the movies. The guilt-trip had worked. But not to my liking. Besides, after something like that, I doubt we would be able to enjoy the movie.
We were kinda cold to each other at first then began to warm up. Then we were having a conversation the same way as before.
Somehow, even if I got what I wanted, I still felt bad because I got mine and she was forced to cancel the other promise. And now that I'm sober, I ask myself, "What the hell's wrong with me?" Looking back, I had acted immaturely. I defended myself from myself and said that it's all because I was stressed. 24 hours is NOT enough. I need more!
And because my mom gave in, despite that it wasn't the best thing to do, I loved her more.
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