I've been sneezing the past 3 hours while typing a paper for philo. I think it's my desk... full of God-knows-what for God-knows-how-long.
Hindi naman ako burara. I just have this habit of keeping things even if I don't need them. That's why my desk is a clutter. It may have have gathered the dust and have created their own colony.
If I had been sneezing yesterday afternoon, I would have died. I just suffered from the worst migraine in two months! Laughing made my head bleed inside. I was glad I didn't suffer from coughs and sneezes that time. I knew I didn't eat beef or potatoes for the last couple of weeks. I try to live healthy and eat healthy.
I was a bit cranky to Gracie and was anti-social to people. Talking made my temples throb. My heartfelt apologies.
I could barely keep my eyes open during CS156 class and was writing in dead languages in my notebook. I dreaded that night too because we were going to pull an all-nighter at Jake's house. We needed more proposals for the thesis.
I was a bit glad it didn't hurt that much in the late afternoon. Alexis had painkillers and gave me some. The pain slowly ebbed away.
We were finally got some shut eye around 3AM after watching The Practice.
And here I am, sneezing my a$$ off, doing a paper that I hope will get a B+ or A.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Being with Legends
Last Friday, I went to a symposium in the Case Study Room. It was Greek Week (Philosophy Week) and they were going to talk about Syposium. It was led by none other than the legend of the Philosophy department, Fr. Roque Ferriols, S.J.
He's already 81 this year and he has never stopped teaching Philosophy (in Filipino). I think it just transcends passion. It's already love.
It was he that made me like Philosophy. Yes, he was the teacher who humiliated me in front of the class, threatening me not to take the Final Oral Exams and just get an F in his class. The week before finals, we had a "mock orals". I didn't study for Philo yet because my Theology oral exams would come first. So I absolutely don't know what I was supposed to say... I was in near-tears that time...
And he was the one who made me work harder than ever before and got that friggin A in his orals! And made me love the subject.
He went in with Dr. Garcia and everyone was hush-hush. The atmosphere was tense. Something akin to an overwhelming sensation. I feel reduced. I feel nothing. We all stared at awe at this very old man, wearing a simple button-down shirt, islander slippers and jeans. He looked fragile and was walking with difficulty. But he commanded respect.
He talked about "meron" (note: this is different from "being"). We were all staring at him. The words that came out from his mouth were simple. His structure was simple but it meant so deep. It struck us. It struck me.
Ang kagandahan ay puno ng merong sumisinag. Na siyang lumalampas sa abot-tanaw na meron... and stuff like that!
I even recorded his lecture! And after, I was able have my picture taken with him. I'm the luckiest person! I felt so happy and elated. Like floating, but funnier.
He's really a legend that I admire. He's one of the few professors that I admire, respect and adore!
I'm really glad that I became his student for one whole year. Something that Ateneans treat as a privilege and an honor.
He's already 81 this year and he has never stopped teaching Philosophy (in Filipino). I think it just transcends passion. It's already love.
It was he that made me like Philosophy. Yes, he was the teacher who humiliated me in front of the class, threatening me not to take the Final Oral Exams and just get an F in his class. The week before finals, we had a "mock orals". I didn't study for Philo yet because my Theology oral exams would come first. So I absolutely don't know what I was supposed to say... I was in near-tears that time...
And he was the one who made me work harder than ever before and got that friggin A in his orals! And made me love the subject.
He went in with Dr. Garcia and everyone was hush-hush. The atmosphere was tense. Something akin to an overwhelming sensation. I feel reduced. I feel nothing. We all stared at awe at this very old man, wearing a simple button-down shirt, islander slippers and jeans. He looked fragile and was walking with difficulty. But he commanded respect.
He talked about "meron" (note: this is different from "being"). We were all staring at him. The words that came out from his mouth were simple. His structure was simple but it meant so deep. It struck us. It struck me.
Ang kagandahan ay puno ng merong sumisinag. Na siyang lumalampas sa abot-tanaw na meron... and stuff like that!
I even recorded his lecture! And after, I was able have my picture taken with him. I'm the luckiest person! I felt so happy and elated. Like floating, but funnier.
He's really a legend that I admire. He's one of the few professors that I admire, respect and adore!
I'm really glad that I became his student for one whole year. Something that Ateneans treat as a privilege and an honor.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Don't feel safe anymore
A few minutes ago, I was in the dining room, watching CSI: Miami. I then heard Toby, our dog, bark a couple of times. I figured it was one of the guards doing rounds in the village.
A couple of minutes later, I heard him growl. It was strange because it was the first time I heard him growl. It didn't sound cute at all. If you haven't seen our dog, you would have imagined it to be of a larger breed. Anyway, his growl made me feel uneasy.
Dogs have this 6th sense of who's friend and who's fiend right?
I looked back at the window and tried to make something out. Suddenly, the street light went out. I couldn't see anything anymore. What bothered me was that the light inside the house was on and I realized I can be seen from the outside.
Cautiously, I turned off the TV(damn! and they were getting into my fave part: the DNA sampling) and turned off all the lights. I made soft steps and went back to the window. I kept my head low and peered through the blinds. The light in the street lamp was on again. I could hear Toby scruffling about. Still, I really felt uneasy with the situation.
When Toby growled in the direction of the gate, that meant someone was outside right? But if it had to be the guard or the man in-charge of the water rationing, they should have used the doorbell, right? And Toby would've recognized them because they come to the house almost everyday.
At least, I'm glad we have a dog who warns us if there are people or not. But with too much stuff going on around, I really don't feel at ease anymore.
A couple of minutes later, I heard him growl. It was strange because it was the first time I heard him growl. It didn't sound cute at all. If you haven't seen our dog, you would have imagined it to be of a larger breed. Anyway, his growl made me feel uneasy.
Dogs have this 6th sense of who's friend and who's fiend right?
I looked back at the window and tried to make something out. Suddenly, the street light went out. I couldn't see anything anymore. What bothered me was that the light inside the house was on and I realized I can be seen from the outside.
Cautiously, I turned off the TV(damn! and they were getting into my fave part: the DNA sampling) and turned off all the lights. I made soft steps and went back to the window. I kept my head low and peered through the blinds. The light in the street lamp was on again. I could hear Toby scruffling about. Still, I really felt uneasy with the situation.
When Toby growled in the direction of the gate, that meant someone was outside right? But if it had to be the guard or the man in-charge of the water rationing, they should have used the doorbell, right? And Toby would've recognized them because they come to the house almost everyday.
At least, I'm glad we have a dog who warns us if there are people or not. But with too much stuff going on around, I really don't feel at ease anymore.
only you
not a lot of people know this song...kinda archaic. mrs. shafer, do you know this song?
i love 80's music... though my philosophy teacher thinks otherwise ^___^ oh well, to each his own!
my heartfelt thanks to inca!
by J. Allejo and P. Hewlett
i love 80's music... though my philosophy teacher thinks otherwise ^___^ oh well, to each his own!
my heartfelt thanks to inca!
by J. Allejo and P. Hewlett
only you, have the power to move me
and together we'd make the whole world move in sympathy
but i could not see before
only you, have the power to move me
take me hold me mold me change me and improve meit's not funny anymore
there was i, wondering why
everyday disappeared into the distance
now with you, the light is shining through
you gave me life, not just existence
only you (you are the starlight), have the power to move me (we can achieve)
and together we'd make the whole world move in sympathy
only you have the power to move me
there was i, wondering why
everyday disappeared into the distance
now with you, the light is shining through
you gave me life, not just existence
only you, have the power to move me
and together we'll make the whole world move in sympathy
but i could not see before
that only you, have the power to move me
take me, hold me, mold me, change me, and improve me
only you have the power to move me
mistakes in the lyrics are entirely my fault.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
to Gracie, Kris, aR, Chax....
... and to my fellow Comtech majors taking up CS165...
It's over! Our nightmares of subnetting, IP addressing and routing tables are over. This nightmare which started from CS30 is finally OVER! We can all bury them to nothingness and move on with our 'less complicated than subnetting' lives.
Sorry, I know we have our own opinions on this and my opinion is that subnetting sucks big time! I guess thay's why there's an option in windows where you can just AUTOMATICALLY DETECT IP address. Major duh!
I'm really glad that the worst part of Network and Data Communications is over... and I hope it stays that way! ^__^
I know that I freely took the CS track, without really knowing what I'm getting myself into. And I'm really lucky and happy to have people like you to keep me sane during the chaos I call academics.
The feeling I had a while ago before the Long Exam was the same feeling I had before taking the Accounting, Finance and Calculus long exams...
I felt like the ULTIMATE MAMARU of them all! Nagmamarunong sa ganitong problem... na tama ang aking IP addressing scheme.
AR, I know what your sentiments are and I understand why you want to kill those people you mentioned after the exam... if you need help, I'm willing to help you with the 2nd someone. Please help yourself to the first since you're close! ^__^
Gracie, contrary to what you were saying about me knowing those IP addressing stuff all along... I didn't talaga!!! Super-uber mamaru to the max! Tubig at langis kami ng binary at octets!
Kris, alam kong kalahati ka pa lang sa kalbaryo mo this week. Sucks to be you, pare! Pero goodluck talaga! I'll be cheering you on! If you need a smile, a hug, a sundae cone from McDo, pakalat-kalat lang ako sa gilid.
I'm also looking forward to the Ateneo-LaSalle game tomorrow. I'm gonna watch it with Gracie in her house. We're gonna do the leader profile na rin so we can pass it on friday. I swear, nakatira na ako sa bahay nila! I've been there at least once for the past few weeks! Dana and Elisse are kinda used to being with me around. hehe! Sobrang hiya na ako kay Tita Mirla.
Anyway, I hope Ateneo creams LaSalle tomorrow! hehe, I've become a die-hard Atenean. Consensual brain-washing. We wanna win!!!
It's over! Our nightmares of subnetting, IP addressing and routing tables are over. This nightmare which started from CS30 is finally OVER! We can all bury them to nothingness and move on with our 'less complicated than subnetting' lives.
Sorry, I know we have our own opinions on this and my opinion is that subnetting sucks big time! I guess thay's why there's an option in windows where you can just AUTOMATICALLY DETECT IP address. Major duh!
I'm really glad that the worst part of Network and Data Communications is over... and I hope it stays that way! ^__^
I know that I freely took the CS track, without really knowing what I'm getting myself into. And I'm really lucky and happy to have people like you to keep me sane during the chaos I call academics.
The feeling I had a while ago before the Long Exam was the same feeling I had before taking the Accounting, Finance and Calculus long exams...
I felt like the ULTIMATE MAMARU of them all! Nagmamarunong sa ganitong problem... na tama ang aking IP addressing scheme.
AR, I know what your sentiments are and I understand why you want to kill those people you mentioned after the exam... if you need help, I'm willing to help you with the 2nd someone. Please help yourself to the first since you're close! ^__^
Gracie, contrary to what you were saying about me knowing those IP addressing stuff all along... I didn't talaga!!! Super-uber mamaru to the max! Tubig at langis kami ng binary at octets!
Kris, alam kong kalahati ka pa lang sa kalbaryo mo this week. Sucks to be you, pare! Pero goodluck talaga! I'll be cheering you on! If you need a smile, a hug, a sundae cone from McDo, pakalat-kalat lang ako sa gilid.
I'm also looking forward to the Ateneo-LaSalle game tomorrow. I'm gonna watch it with Gracie in her house. We're gonna do the leader profile na rin so we can pass it on friday. I swear, nakatira na ako sa bahay nila! I've been there at least once for the past few weeks! Dana and Elisse are kinda used to being with me around. hehe! Sobrang hiya na ako kay Tita Mirla.
Anyway, I hope Ateneo creams LaSalle tomorrow! hehe, I've become a die-hard Atenean. Consensual brain-washing. We wanna win!!!
Monday, September 12, 2005
My Bed is my Work Area
Recently, I haven't paid much attention to my study table. And right now, I can't really see it. Must be somewhere under the pile of books, handouts, papers and what-have-you. Right now, I'm typing in my laptop from my bed.
Yes, my laptop has been residing in my bed since I moved back in the house. Even in the condo, I occasionally use my laptop as my pillow. Our house has a router so I can connect to the internet, blog, surf and send email from the bed. Ah, yes, the power of wireless connections...
... and IP routing...
...with subnetting...
Man, I have to stop this. I've been preparing for my CS156 exams on Wednesday and majority of it would come from subnetting and IP routing... sheesh! Binary, Decimal, Hexadecimal... I think hiring a computer technician would cost me but it would save me from headaches and connection troubles.
Anyway, back to my bed...*ahem*
It's getting crowded in here too. I have notebooks and textbooks here... I type when I try to study. Muscle memory has always been effective for me. Typing or writing, doesn't matter.
Plus, I've got pagong here to keep me company. ^_^
Trivia--> I also took Pagong with me to my gradpic photo shoot. We're both going to be timeless!
Other people: *groan*
Anyway, that's my life as of now... boring! As I told my dad last Sunday, the only thing exciting in my life right now is cramming for a test or paper.
Can you be more pathetic than this???
More people: *groan*
Yes, my laptop has been residing in my bed since I moved back in the house. Even in the condo, I occasionally use my laptop as my pillow. Our house has a router so I can connect to the internet, blog, surf and send email from the bed. Ah, yes, the power of wireless connections...
... and IP routing...
...with subnetting...
Man, I have to stop this. I've been preparing for my CS156 exams on Wednesday and majority of it would come from subnetting and IP routing... sheesh! Binary, Decimal, Hexadecimal... I think hiring a computer technician would cost me but it would save me from headaches and connection troubles.
Anyway, back to my bed...*ahem*
It's getting crowded in here too. I have notebooks and textbooks here... I type when I try to study. Muscle memory has always been effective for me. Typing or writing, doesn't matter.
Plus, I've got pagong here to keep me company. ^_^
Trivia--> I also took Pagong with me to my gradpic photo shoot. We're both going to be timeless!
Other people: *groan*
Anyway, that's my life as of now... boring! As I told my dad last Sunday, the only thing exciting in my life right now is cramming for a test or paper.
Can you be more pathetic than this???
More people: *groan*
Sunday, September 11, 2005
The Calm Before the Storm
I knew it! Last week for me was just la-la-lah.... there wasn't much to do and at least I was able to catch up on reading Harry Potter. But then, reading Kris' blog, I then began to realize what a hell week this is going to be...
I don't even want to start listing them... it would be too painful to read in my blog... kaya Kris, "I shake you warmly by the hand" (c/o Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).
No wonder I was just slacking off the week before.... haaay.. it was good while it lasted.
I'm hoping I would survive the next few weeks as we all scamper toward deadlines and the nearing finals week in October...
I need a break!
I don't even want to start listing them... it would be too painful to read in my blog... kaya Kris, "I shake you warmly by the hand" (c/o Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).
No wonder I was just slacking off the week before.... haaay.. it was good while it lasted.
I'm hoping I would survive the next few weeks as we all scamper toward deadlines and the nearing finals week in October...
I need a break!
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Ecstatic
I just got back my 2nd long exam in Philo. Man, was I so surprised! And happy! I got a B+. I'm so proud of myself. I really studied and put a lot of effort preparing for those exams. So, getting this grade is already nice.
I wanted to keep this short. Maybe I'll put my essay here... maybe not... maybe somewhere else. Dunno. hehe.
Just found out I had this propensity towards philosophy. Maybe because I had a really good mentor when I started philosophising and discerning. =) Fr. Ferriols is already a legend in school. He's already 80 years old and yet his passion for Philosophy is ageless. He is one of the foundations of philosophy in Ateneo. "Meron" doesn't equate to being. It is much more deeper. It gives you a glimpse of something but you can never fully grasp it. You can never contain it in a system. It it unexplainable, yet it makes sense.
Am I making sense?
Man, I really love Philosophy! I was wishing I had taken it as a Minor...
But if I did that, I might not graduate on time. I already have my Japanese Studies Minor and am currently taking my IT minor...
No, I am not a nerd. I enjoy these subjects and fields of study.
No, I am not a masochist.
Yes, I have friends and a social life.
Relationships and sex will come later in life... as dad decreed on the day I was born.
I wanted to keep this short. Maybe I'll put my essay here... maybe not... maybe somewhere else. Dunno. hehe.
Just found out I had this propensity towards philosophy. Maybe because I had a really good mentor when I started philosophising and discerning. =) Fr. Ferriols is already a legend in school. He's already 80 years old and yet his passion for Philosophy is ageless. He is one of the foundations of philosophy in Ateneo. "Meron" doesn't equate to being. It is much more deeper. It gives you a glimpse of something but you can never fully grasp it. You can never contain it in a system. It it unexplainable, yet it makes sense.
Am I making sense?
Man, I really love Philosophy! I was wishing I had taken it as a Minor...
But if I did that, I might not graduate on time. I already have my Japanese Studies Minor and am currently taking my IT minor...
No, I am not a nerd. I enjoy these subjects and fields of study.
No, I am not a masochist.
Yes, I have friends and a social life.
Relationships and sex will come later in life... as dad decreed on the day I was born.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Bratinella Extraordinaire
Yes, I am a self-confessed brat. I want to always get what I want... Whatever means? Not really. Most of the time, charm works for me.
Yesterday, I got so mad because my mom and I were supposed to go out and watch a movie the next day. She then said that she has to do something with her brother. When I heard it, I didn't say anything. Being the tactless person that I am, I tried not to make a scene and just accept the fact that we weren't going out the next day.
Damn!!! I really was looking forward to our lakwa. So much so that I even studied for my Tuesday class the day before. And I even made friggin notes!
Anyway, my silent treatment didn't go well as I planned. Nagdabog ako nang parang bata. I banged on doors. I had this serious, looks-like-dad-when-he-wants-to-strangle-someone-but-he-can't-and-he's-pissed look. And although I knew what was going on, I never stopped. It felt like it was the right thing to do. It was injustice for me.
Am I not important enough that I just get shunned away at the thought of another plan that happened to chance their way? I wanted to have the time to bond with my mom, not just go to the mall and watch movies. To me, it had meant so much. I guess to her, it was just a way to waste money... I don't know. I hope otherwise. Nah, hindi naman siya ganun.
As the night went on, I could not contain my rage at the sight of "injustice" to me. I told her that she needs to respect me enough to keep her promise to me... Regardless of the kind of promise... Unless it's an emergency (life and death... No other options besides my mom being and needed there). At that time, I admitted to mysef that our trip to the movies would be as slim as those super thin carcasses walking down the runway. I just wanted to make her feel that she should also keep her promise, to whoever she makes them to. And that next time, she should think about her other plans before accepting another.
Well in the end, she told me that we were going to the movies. The guilt-trip had worked. But not to my liking. Besides, after something like that, I doubt we would be able to enjoy the movie.
We were kinda cold to each other at first then began to warm up. Then we were having a conversation the same way as before.
Somehow, even if I got what I wanted, I still felt bad because I got mine and she was forced to cancel the other promise. And now that I'm sober, I ask myself, "What the hell's wrong with me?" Looking back, I had acted immaturely. I defended myself from myself and said that it's all because I was stressed. 24 hours is NOT enough. I need more!
And because my mom gave in, despite that it wasn't the best thing to do, I loved her more.
Yesterday, I got so mad because my mom and I were supposed to go out and watch a movie the next day. She then said that she has to do something with her brother. When I heard it, I didn't say anything. Being the tactless person that I am, I tried not to make a scene and just accept the fact that we weren't going out the next day.
Damn!!! I really was looking forward to our lakwa. So much so that I even studied for my Tuesday class the day before. And I even made friggin notes!
Anyway, my silent treatment didn't go well as I planned. Nagdabog ako nang parang bata. I banged on doors. I had this serious, looks-like-dad-when-he-wants-to-strangle-someone-but-he-can't-and-he's-pissed look. And although I knew what was going on, I never stopped. It felt like it was the right thing to do. It was injustice for me.
Am I not important enough that I just get shunned away at the thought of another plan that happened to chance their way? I wanted to have the time to bond with my mom, not just go to the mall and watch movies. To me, it had meant so much. I guess to her, it was just a way to waste money... I don't know. I hope otherwise. Nah, hindi naman siya ganun.
As the night went on, I could not contain my rage at the sight of "injustice" to me. I told her that she needs to respect me enough to keep her promise to me... Regardless of the kind of promise... Unless it's an emergency (life and death... No other options besides my mom being and needed there). At that time, I admitted to mysef that our trip to the movies would be as slim as those super thin carcasses walking down the runway. I just wanted to make her feel that she should also keep her promise, to whoever she makes them to. And that next time, she should think about her other plans before accepting another.
Well in the end, she told me that we were going to the movies. The guilt-trip had worked. But not to my liking. Besides, after something like that, I doubt we would be able to enjoy the movie.
We were kinda cold to each other at first then began to warm up. Then we were having a conversation the same way as before.
Somehow, even if I got what I wanted, I still felt bad because I got mine and she was forced to cancel the other promise. And now that I'm sober, I ask myself, "What the hell's wrong with me?" Looking back, I had acted immaturely. I defended myself from myself and said that it's all because I was stressed. 24 hours is NOT enough. I need more!
And because my mom gave in, despite that it wasn't the best thing to do, I loved her more.
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