Replays

It's like the LSS... no matter how much you'd like it to disappear from your brain, it never ceases to haunt you every waking moment.

I can't sleep. Whenever I think about it, it gets my blood pumping with dread. It's that terrible feeling at the pit of your stomach... like a feeling when you're in a tournament. Those butterflies really give hell.

I think about it whenever I'm not thinking of something good enough to block it out for a second. How I should've reacted, what I should've said. I think of useless things that I should've done, just to appease myself. I hated myself for what I did, for giving in. I should have fought... morally, I should've done that. But I didn't. I didn't want to spend another moment there. It was hell.

And now, knowing that I did that just to get away, I couldn't help but miserably remember every second spent there. And it sucks. It really really sucks.

I'm really gonna look like shit in the office tomorrow...