Grateful

When was the last time you said, "thank you" to your parents? The 2 people who have been by your side since you started your first breath? It just seems awkward at first, since they have always been your mentor, guide and friend and helping you seems second nature to them.

I started saying "I Love You" to my parents when I was in college. It was the first time I left home and lived by myself. Every night I call home, telling mom that I'm already in the condo. I was in 2nd year that I said, "Goodnight, love you". My mom immediately replied, "I love you, too". It was the warmest, fuzziest feeling ever!

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Early this morning, I woke up with the painful urge to go to the bathroom. Around 10 minutes after, I started feeling nauseous and lightheaded. Worse was the pain was there, steady and lucid. I crawled back to my bedroom and cursed my bed which was elevated 3 feet from the ground. I curled up on myself and started to cold sweat. Despite the fact that I was feeling faint and my vision drifted on and off, the painful sensation would not leave me. It felt like the butterflies in my stomach grew fangs and talons and began to scrape at my insides.

I thought that time would ease the pain but it just began to get more painful. I swear, if this will be anything like child birth, my husband will do all the diaper-changing and cuddling the baby to sleep at 3am!

It was the worst and longest 2 minutes of my life. Luckily, my phone was beside me and called my mom. I put it on speakerphone because I could not bear to lift the phone to my ear. I cried out to her in a very soft and pained voice to come upstairs. It was a relief to me when she came to my room, but the pain did not subside. She ran to my side and saw my sweat-soaked hair, tank top and boxers. At this point in time, modesty did not cross my mind. She hurriedly turned on the aircon and used my towel to wipe the sweat from my face and neck. Her hand was an anchor. As I grabbed it with my now freezing hands, I cried. I broke down like a little girl and cried to my mom. I told her not to leave me and gripped her hand as tight as I possibly could at that time.

She used my phone to call downstairs and asked for medicine and some brew to be brought up. Sitting up to drink the medicine was hell. My arm supporting me was so weak it was shaking. I was able to lean against the wall as I swallowed the medicine. And then, I fell down again. I never felt this weak in my life. It immediately reminded me of people getting shot down and left to die. It's scary, knowing that you're dying and yet you desperately, futilely, cling to life. By then, I was already hallucinating.

My dad came up and checked up on me. He asked how I was. My eyes were closed but I was still conscious. At this point in time, modesty kicked in but I didn't know how to cover myself. Mom, always the supermom, grabbed my blanket and covered me with it. My dad asked if there was anything he could do to help. They were already contemplating bringing me to the hospital.

At that point, I was really thinking mundane things: I haven't even brushed my teeth! Washed my face! Am I wearing nice underwear?

I then told them to wait until the medicine kicks in. Mom reluctantly agreed but said that if I don't get better in about 30 minutes, they're rushing me to the ER, ribbon boxers and all! Damn you medicine, if you don't work, I will sue your company!

Thankfully, the color returned to my face and I stopped having cold sweats. I was able to sit up and drink ginger brew. By then I told my mom I can manage by myself and that I will go down for breakfast. As she gathered the stuff she had to bring down and opened my door, I said in a loud and clear voice, "Thank you, ma".

She didn't turn around but said, "Ok, let's eat breakfast, I made pancakes for you."

I felt her smile when she was talking. A smile grew on my face as well. I love pancakes!