Another Bleeding

My nose isn't the only one that's bleeding big time.

A few days ago, I was horrified to know that my laptop, my beloved laptop had 31,000 files infected with trojans and worms!!

The HORROR.... THE HORROR...

It was due to my malfunctioning firewall... that eventually passed the virii through Kazaa (which I had uninstalled a long time ago). Eventhough I had my firewall turned on, the indicator on my task bar says that it could not detect my firewall...

I wanted to cry. I couldn't delete all the files. It had to be reformatted. All my programs had to be reinstalled. I couldn't do it...

I'm at a loss.

Reformatting something would be like wiping away the memories and the horror stories I had with my laptop. S/he doesn't have a name, but it's one thing that I could not live without...together with Pagong of course!

I've always kept my laptop by my side, literally.

I guess it'll only be a matter of time before it finally breaks down. I'm trying to back up my important files and pictures.

The First Day I Met Him...

I don't want to say much... I know my friends know about this. This is kinda private so just ask me what happened.

But anyway, the day I met a special someone... I was so overwhelmed and charmed by his smile, body and eyes...

I had a nosebleed. BIG TIME.

If you would know anime, a guy who starts to have a nosebleed would mean he is attracted to a certain girl...or guy, depending on the genre you're interested.

At first, I thought I was catching a cold, but then, when I couldn't sniff it in, it just ran down to my lips. I (accidentally) tasted it and winced at the metallic taste. My sister was surprised as I quickly got tissue paper.

After two Kleenex sheets full of blood, it finally stopped bleeding.

My sister started laughing because she understood the fact that I just met a hottie that day and knocked me off my feet.

Mahalay ka talaga karen.

sulking

Do you know the feeling of someone promising you something that you've been longing for a long time, and then realizing last minute that this something can not be given to you? All along, you have high hopes and suddenly, just like a flash of light, it's gone.

I think to myself, what did I do wrong? I've been really excited about it, waiting and waiting, unable to sleep at nights, unable to concentrate. The disappointing feeling is overwhelming. Something akin to frustration.

It's like asking Santa what gift you'd like to have on Christmas, expecting it will happen because you've been a good child and have done well in school. The excitement and almost certain look is there, but once the wrapper has been taken off, the face falls and the whole holiday is ruined.

And you know the aftermath? You'll be crying and making tantrums until everything goes your way again. And you get this bad feeling when your parents give in. It's as if they were forced to do your bidding, not coming from the heart.

That feeling's worse.

Well, anyway, I'm not ranting just to let a certain someone change its mind.. as if that person knows this website! There was justification...a valid reason, and yet, I just feel sad. I would have done everything in my power naman to keep my promise. Why can't other people do it?

Pilosopa

sabi ni dad...

hindi ako pwede magka-boyfriend hanggang hindi pa natatapos ang pag-aaral...

...so pwede makipag-date?

...so pwede magkaroon ng maraming manliligaw basta walang sasagutin?

...so pwede magka-girlfriend?

...so pwede makipag-relasyon sa kahit ano basta hindi "boy"?

...so pwede sa boy na tumanda na?

...basta hindi boyfriend.

Hay naku, pag nakita ni dad to, papatayin niya ako sa isang saglit... gamit ang mga mata.

Walang kalaban-laban.

Si Lord Talaga...

...kung anu-ano binibigay sa akin. ^__^

Yung gusto ko di naman binibigay nang basta-basta...

Yung di ko naman hinahanap, biglang mahuhulog nalang sa aking mga palad...

Eh, Lord, hindi ko naman po tinatanggi! Masaya ako. ^__^

Last weekend, I attended the Hero TV Launch at the PTTC and cosplayed as Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. I was anxious because not many people know this movie, which was released a few months ago through DVD.

During the registration, we met Jake and Carlo, who were cosplaying as Kakashi and Shino, respectively from Naruto. They were veterans in this field, whereas this was my first cosplay.

Lho and behold, there were 2 guys cosplaying from the same Anime so I was glad I wasn't alone.

My gawd!!! They were so cute! And the costumes they had were rubber/leather, which is really accurate with the actual characters. They were really friendly and fun to be with.

One of them, Luis, was the friendlier of the two, no offense, Mike! ^__^

Until now, Luis and I were sending SMS to each other. He even invited me to his friendster account. I sent him pictures from the event.

Hehe, let's see where this leads to...

sem break mode pa rin

Drove like a maniac today. I was supposed to go to school around 1030 because my registration was 11am. Ginny called me as soon as I exited the village and told me that they were already being checked by regcom.

If I missed my number, I can only register in the afternoon, right after all the other people have signed up and have taken the really good teachers. I drove like hell was chasing me, thankfully avoiding any unfortunate incidents.

I arrived with time to spare and checked schedules with Ginny.

I got almost all the schedules I wanted...except for Philo. I've been meaning to get Fr. Que but he only has one class this semester. I opted to get Mariano, who Sir Gus, my Philo103 teacher, suggested was ok.

I was glad I have blockmates with me in other classes. At least I'm not alone.

After eating lunch...which was really breakfast, Ginny and I headed to Shopwise to buy stuff for the FGD to be used for our thesis. It was very expensive! We bought every type of cereal, milk and toppings available. We didn't buy fruits and ice cream... and we added up to around 2,000 pesos! Sprinkles and pinipig were not available.

Alexis then called us to tell that our real mentor was Lec Sacramento and not Bong Olpoc. Ginny was moping and cursing about it a while ago... hehe, could our CTK could be any harder than this?

reply

got this reply...

Don't be depressed..what's important is that you did your best and gave it your best shot...You still have a long way to go....Also bear in mind that what you have accomplished is something I am proud of..

somehow... I feel relieved... *feels a twitch at the corner of her lips*

*sigh*

I let someone down...

I feel really bad about it. No matter how I try, I'm always an inch from reaching it. My efforts were nothing in the end. The ruthless and countless days spent did not count at all. It was all in vain.

Sometimes, I ask why things like this happen. When you thought everything was going your way... it all comes down, crashing in the end.

The feeling of letting someone down is worse than letting yourself down.

It's like when you fall down very hard. You open your mouth to take a deep breath but no air comes in... then it feels like someone shoved their fist in your stomach and started mashing it in.

I had thought I was so focused and so confident. Such a shame, noh?

I really really hate this feeling. A feeling I've been having lately.

New Hobby!

Being bored out of my mind with doing practically nothing at home (I'm not complaining, really) but eat, sleep, watch anime, bath and the like, I would sometimes feel the need to take out the cobwebs in my brain and start tuning its oil and fix the spark plugs and keep it in tiptop shape for the last grind.

And I found a really nice way to get my mind to work its usual 20% of its capacity....


writing!!!

And not just ordinary writing. I have found a really wonderful and challenging genre to create a world. It's ANGST. It's all about pain, suffering, abuse, depression. Those dark stuff where happy endings (almost)always are death. Doesn't sound like me...ne? Well, it's not me at all. But writing stuff that didn't happen to you would make it worthwhile.

Freaked out? Nah!

Just surf around and you'll see tons of sites full of angsty stories. Some have made me cry...you know, depression to the max. The unfairness and injustice given to the protagonist. A savior that's a second late. Kinda reminds me of Kris' favorite(??) song: Ironic.

And stuff like this really happens all the time, right under our noses. Most of them happen to the most helpless sector of society: children. They have nothing, they are dependent, they are naive and innocent. They know nothing of the cruel and wicked ways of the world. They are gullible at the treat of candy and the ones who are most affected. They are easily broken and difficult to mend. They are condemned in a society of corrupt, powerful and inequality. They are targets ready to be hit over and over again.

Going back, whenever I try to write a few pages or so, there's this gripping and tingly feeling I get. Getting attached to the story and yet making it more painful and more sad. The reality of life, the absurdity of fantasy... the similarity of both worlds. It makes me shiver and cringe.


I must be losing my bananas... ^__^

I Love VoIP!

I'm chatting right now with my best friend who now lives in the US. It's nice to hear her voice again and listen to our woes and joys. Her birthday's in 3 days and I really miss her so much!

My other best friend's in US also and they're planning to meet on December. Gyahh!!! I'm so jealous! Gusto ko rin pumunta sa US!

Miss you guys!!!

Bling Blings!

Dad went home last Saturday afternoon. That morning, I attended a renewal seminar for lectors in Better Living. I was with my mentoresses, Tita Cynthia and Tita Cocoi. We had breakfast in Jollibee before heading to the Parish of Mary Help of Christians.

As expected, it was boring but it gave us some insights on topics such as the Screening Committee and what to do in Responsorial Psalms. Yes, life in the Church can be tedious and active at times. We ate lunch at Max's in SM Bicutan before Tita Cocoi dropped me off in the house.

Mom, Leanne and I picked Dad up. He only had two carry-on luggage so the process for him to get out of the airport was easy. He bought the magazines in Changi, Lime, Teens and Teenage. The cover models were Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe. Harry Potter fever is in the air!

Daniel's hot! Mom says he really changed Although he has an angle that he somewhat resembles Elijah Wood. Haven't read the magazine with Hermione on the cover.

Also, dad bought me a couple of accessories for Kevin. Sale pala sa Apple Center in Wheelock Place so it was really convenient. He got Kevin an iTrip, which can let me play Kevin in any radio frequency, wirelessly! Haha, this'd be so great when I use the car! He also got me a new hard, aluminum case for Kevin. All these were 30% off! Yes!!!! Now I can bang and slam him around while listening to the songs we downloaded in the sound system. Joke!

Good morning, Sunshine!

I woke up early today. I was the commentator for the All Saint's Day mass at 6am, which is a High Mass, fyi! Since there was no choir in this time of the day, I was required to sing all the songs... entrance, alleluia (not Bamboo's tho...sayang), Our Father and the recessional. I wasn't bad. My senior lectors commented my performance and the parish priest said I was very good. What a way to start the day.

I had a long list of anime piled up the past semester that was begging to be watched to I grabbed my steaming mug of chocolate (mom forbade me to drink coffee... turns my teeth brown) and watched Kyou Kara Maou for about an hour before the maid told me that Toby had gone out the gate.

We spent around 20 minutes searching for the dog in the rain. We were glad we learned that one of the guards took him to the office. We got him back, cold, dirty and in one piece.

Dad wanted to see Market!Market! so we're going there after lunch.

Isn't life fun without school for a couple of weeks! Extend vacation! No to EVAT! Death to politicians! Cheers to servant leaders!