n Reasons to Celebrate the Holidays

I'm making a list of the many reasons why I'm thankful for this year and the following year!

1. My sister's 18th birthday--> you could say we're an old family already... the youngest celebrated her 18th birthday last Dec.22.... which leads to...

2. Our Baguio Trip--> the original plan was to celebrate Christmas at Camp John Hay Manor but due to our house renovations, it was cut short.

3. Our new house--> our house underwent a major renovation... it's very different from the old 'ancestral house'

4. My new room--> I have a spankin' new room! My own TV, N64, stereo and double bed! yipee~

5. Trip to Japan--> I'm finally getting my wish to travel outside South East Asia! And to one of my 'must-go-to' places! My dad's really supportive and bought me woolen sweaters and pullovers!

6. Star Wars--> I'm loving Star Movies as they are airing the whole Star Wars Saga! I'm a sucker for that movie and I'm loving George Lucas right now. General Obi-wan Kenobi is hot~!

7. Toby--> He peed on the corner of the stairs but he's so cute with those big puppy eyes I can't bear to scold him.

8. Family--> my nephew and cousins came over to celebrate Christmas with us. The more the merrier!

9. Mouth Sores--> with luck and timing, I got this very huge wound in my tongue and the pain was unbearable whenever I ate or drank something other than water... in a way, it was a blessing because I didn't get to eat much.

10. Officemates--> they've been very supportive of my project and personal concerns. Basta, I'm loving them! hehe!

11. DP--> we had a reunion in Ateneo under the stars in Bel field. It was a very nostalgic feeling!

12. Sweet Valley Kids--> I recently arranged my books....some I had to throw away/ give but I can never part with Sweet Valley Kids. Those were reminders of my grade school days. One Sweet Valley book was a reward for a high grade in mastery tests and long exams. I'm trying to find time to read them all again.

13. Pagong--> for being with me through thick and thin. Seriously, if he were a real person, he would have been my life partner

14. A certain fiction--> There's this story I've been reading at adultfanfiction.net. The author made a sequel and it literally drove me to tears! The reason why it's in adultfan.net was because the theme was very deep. The setting was in Finland, 1945 during world war 2. It was a story of a boy who was forced into war, separated from his family and struggled during a time when humans did not act humane. The ending was very beautiful and I cried! If you want to read it too, let me know and I'll give you the link. The sequel is in process and I'm keeping track of it every single day~

15. PS2--> it's fixed! After 6 months, PS2 is now online! yeah~

*****

Today, dad and I went to Divisoria. We went to his favorite textile store (which he was a fan since his days in Petron) and bought wool fabrics. We will then have it tailored for me. The cost is actually half than that of retails and I'm confident that the fit suits me well.

It's actually my first time to visit Tutuban. Living in the suburbs of Southern Metro Manila, I don't get opportunities to go to old Manila. And with malls like Ayala, Megamall and ATC, there's no need to go there anyway. We bought fabrics for winter clothing. I also found a pattern like the ones I saw in Zara and Mango! Yey~ cheaper and fits better!

As usual, we went around old Manila, Escolta, CM Recto, as usual...

After buying the fabrics, we went back home so I can drive mom to the airport. She'll be going to Aklan for a reunion. When I got home, it was only me and dad (the others went malling) so I spend the afternoon resting and relaxing in my room.

By late afternoon, Dad and I went to Duty Free. There, I bought a laptop backpack, chocolates, L'Oreal moisturizer and some groceries. Masaya ang araw ko ngayon.

Christmas Lattes

My dad and I are getting hooked on Starbucks' Christmas Blend.

Anyway, apologies for not updating regularly. It seems that it's my apologies that are the regular ones!

The network at home is just starting to get back on its feet. The past few weeks, my sister was getting frustrated with the internet getting disconnected all the time. We didn't know what was wrong until we vacuumed the modem and the router. It was the dust!

2 weeks ago, we had our annual Christmas party. I was part of the team that presented and made our team win the competition. Mabuhay ang ADSI! I was so proud of Marco, Bev, my partner Bailey and the rest of my groupmates for latenight practices. We all deserve it! ^_^

Yesterday, we had our ADSI and TOM party. I have nothing to say except my Christmas wish was granted! Evidences are found in my multiply account. Don't ask me for the link!

Raindrops and Sweatdrops

Today, it rained. It rained the whole day. I thank God there was no wind, just water from the skies. A blessing.

This weekend, my sister and I, together with my highschool friends, Kim and Paolo...and my sis's friends, Judith, Karla and PK, went to UP AME. We went cosplaying...again! ^_^

This time, I decided to use my Tifa outfit. I had this notion that the place will be very hot. My Lacus costume was toasty! I wasn't much of in a cosplay mood. My sister had a group while I cosplayed alone. Talk about being deviant! I was the only character from that anime/game! It was too bad that my camera died in the middle of the catwalk. In a while, I'll be off to leech some of the people's pics. For my personal use of course and not to post them anywhere!

After the group skits, we ate at World Topps in Katipunan. I miss that place! We then dropped Kim and Paolo off at Kim's place and dropped Judith at her place. We got home around 11pm. *drops dead on the bed*.


Today, we Anne and I were a bit stressed from the DSL connection and the router. For some reason, the connection's very messed up. It keeps on fluctuating so I'm not able to leech manga from MIRC--> your connection should be steady coz the downloading stops when the connection's on and off.

Anyway, I'm still thinking about getting my own DSL connection, which the company will pay for by mid-next year. But for the meantime, I have to pay for it. Anyway, that's still undecided.

This Tuesday, we'll be having our company Christmas party and I was foolish enough to be part of the dance troupe... akala ko lang for fun! I didn't know all of them were really good dancers. Thank god for Arnie's mask and my position behind the curtain! ^_^

Welcome to my Abode

This is my new room.

The left side of the TV is my bed. Sort of like a stage. ^_^

Right now, my place is still a mess. My mom and sis are playing roomies. Their rooms are still being fixed. Hopefully by next week, they get to move down to their rooms and have this as my own.

My own place! Nyahahha

Nearing Normality

We finally have internet connection at home!

*clap*clap*clap*

You can't describe how I'm feeling right now. Absolute utopia and seventh heaven galore!

I am not limited to secretly surfing in the office.

Can't post coherently right now.

I'm visiting all the sites I haven't visited since October. @_@

What a relief!

Pasttime Passions

Here's to a weekend of anime cosplaying~

I was Lacus Clyne from Gundam Seed and my sis was Yamanaka Ino from Naruto. Her costume was based from the manga, not the anime.

Peppermint Mocha Blessings

I'm not in high spirits lately. Every single day, I get hardcore migraines whenever I'm in the office and I can't concentrate very well.

Is this a new allergy? I'm not very sure. The last time I went to the allergologist was high school so I might have developed new allergies... which I really hope is not true.

We'll be going back home on the weekend and I'm so excited for my new room. Unfortunately, we are a very materialistic family so we have to make do with the clutter everywhere. The 1st floor of the house is still full of debris and other stuff. It would take another 2 weeks for everything to be cleaned.

I'm wishing that our house would be finished before December or even before Christmas. I'm very excited to decorate our new house.

As for my mom, she can't wait to see her new kitchen. She had it designed para professional and she can maximize the space. I'm also planning to learn how to cook and bake by next year. It's one skill I've been wanting to develop.

Migraine's acting up again. It must be the intense heat during the day and cold, windy nights.

One last thing. I've been collecting the stickers in Starbucks so I can get their uber cool planner. I didn't have the chance to have one last year because I was still a student and my allowance clearly can't afford the 35+ stickers (1 sticker= 1 beverage) needed to get the planner. Now that I'm a yuppie and have a lot of disposable income (aka. no boyfriend, no baby, not paying rent, Dad's paying for gas money), I actually have the buying power to get that damned planner.

Yuletide blessings to come! =)

Plans

All I can say is that this is a crummy "sem break" for me.

Technically, there is no sem break for me... booo! But Oct.31 and Nov.2 should have been national holidays. Pero sige, fine! Let it go...

2 weeks ago, I got my SecurID, a proof that I'm not a new hire anymore! Hire nalang. And with that, I got my first *conflict* in the office.

It wasn't personal. It was supposed to be a professional argument and should have been discussed rationally like adults. We are all adults here, you know.

And then, she just kept offending me like there was no tomorrow! I was so ready to lash out at her. But then I figured no use pummeling her to the ground. I can save it for another time. When she pisses me off again. I am not holding back! Well, it ended with her apologizing and realizing she was out of line and I handled it like a professional...like an adult! ^_^

Mom and Dad decided to extend our stay in the apartment. I was ok with it because it was so accessible to malls and the MRT. But I also can't wait to see what's happening to our new home. Major makeover kasi. I also miss my dog...

I'm hooked on Grey's Anatomy and spent quiet evenings running a DVD marathon. The setting's in Seattle so I was a bit inspired to plan a vacation to the US. I was thinking of doing a one-time-big-time thing and visit all the people/relatives I know there. I'm thinking saving my vacation leave and then spend a month or so. I raised this issue with mom. I already made hints to just give me pocket money and plane tickets for Christmas and my birthday.

Haha, shallow me.

Crazy Times

Days are passing by so quickly that I feel that I have been robbed of the right to enjoy each and every day of my life.

My youth is something that will never come by again and I intend to savor in it... hardships and fun.

There are days when I feel that I am the goddess in my own world. I feel more beautiful than ever. As if nothing and nobody can stop me.

And then there are days when I feel like I am the least valued person in the world. I turn ugly and I remember the times when I feel most vulnerable.

I hate those days. And yet, it is in those days when I feel most human.

++

Our days in our little and humble apartment in Makati are numbered. That is why we always indulge in its facilities and the nearness to the malls. Sadly, my work prevents me from coming home early and go to the malls and *window* shop.

I will gladly miss the days I would wake up earlier than my siblings and *cook* breakfast...and then wash the dishes when they are done. Sometimes, I am thinking that I am not yet prepared to be "domesticated". I'd rather wake up in my own pace, have junkfood for breakfast, take a bath and then go to work. Before going home, I would shop a little, buy take-out and then go home. On weekends, I'd gym out the calories I munched on when I was depressed (enter the chocolate bar). I'd watch TVs or go DVD-marathoning and then hang out with my friends.

Enter the bachelorette's phase!

++

Early this week, I went to the mall with my sister and went *necessity*-shopping and the ocassional indulgence of arcading. It was a good stress reliever. It was also a nice way of bonding and spending time with her.

My dad is here for the week and he has been happy with the progress of the house. At least may nangyayari na! My new room is very nice and I also have a customized stage! Ha!

We have gone accustomed to our new home in Makati but nothing beats your roots. I would still like to go back home, despite it's distance to the mall, to the office... it's where I grew up. It's where I lived all my life and I'm not yet ready to accept the fact that in a few years time, I would move out and have my own family.

Car vs Commute

It's a wonderful Friday the 13th morning! The sun can barely penetrate the thick, ominous clouds of carbon dioxide, smog and other artificial by-products. I arrived in the office a little under 30 minutes from the apartment we're renting in Makati.

Of course, commuting is waaay cheaper than bringing a car to the office. And there is no hassle of looking for a parking lot. One thing about commuting is avoiding the rush hour so I have to leave either early or late from the office. There's the need to wear comfy clothes and shoes so no high heels and short skirts for a while. Dress down ika nga. But I get to exercise by walking to and fro the station.

Commuting Essentials:

MRT Stored value card --> no need to line up!
Handkerchief --> to cover nose and mouth from smoke belching cars
Sunblock --> of course!
Sneakers/Flats --> so you can run to catch the MRT and avoid slipping down the stairs
Fan--> from the heat
Tissue/ Wet Ones--> wipe sweat away, clean hands from public handrails, etc.
Coins, Smaller bills--> don't expect the bus conductor to have change for five hundred pesos!

New Apartment

The typhoon caught up with the construction of the house. Thankfully, the roof was done so at least we weren't flooded inside the house.

After the typhoon, we were crippled with the loss of electricity and water. My sister and I ended up taking a bath and charging our cellphones in Fitness First. We had to check in a hotel because our house was inhabitable. There was dust everywhere, it was very hot inside and we can't even take a bath.

At Holiday Inn, I thanked God for running water and aircon and cable TV. Also, it was near my office so I dropped off Pat and Anne at Shaw Station before heading off to the office. In the afternoon, I picked them up from the station and went back to the hotel.

By Monday (Oct2), Dad wanted us to move to an apartment, at least until most of the renovations are done. That time, there was still no water and electricity at home. I felt bad for mom because she was very sick that time and she was unable to leave the house.

By Tuesday, we moved to an old apartment in Makati. It was right at CBD and very accessible to MRT and the malls (yey!). It was like moving to a condo once again with roommates. The apartment is like a time machine. The furniture is old...like late 80s and early 90s... kinda nostalgic really. Nevertheless, I was very glad we have aircon, running water (with heater, o ha!) and cable tv.

That evening, I sat down with Pat and Anne and stated houserules (welcome, housemates!)
And that same evening, electricity was restored in Paranaque.

Good grief!

Black and White

Haven't blogged in a while, huh?

I guess I wasn't inspired to write something... can't say I'm busy with work because somehow I still find time to do things I love.

It's quite ironic that I don't feel inspired these past few weeks when I found a journal from when I was still in grade school. They were very short documentations for a year. What I did, what happened, who I was... those kinds of things.

I even read the days when I had my firsts... my first period... my first retainers... my first rejection (I got laid off in an org!)... ewan! It was very funny to read them again. It was a breather and a reminder of who I was and who I still am.

It was amusing to see my comments when I heard that they didn't want me to be part of the org. I was telling myself that it was their loss, not mine... and I proved them wrong when the next year, I became an editor for them. haha! I guess I wanted to prove them and myself wrong. I can do better.

Right now, I'm in this phase of choosing. Choosing where I am most comfortable at, who I'm more comfortable with.. I mean let's face it, you can't be friends with everybody! But who knows, maybe we could all grow to like the people we meet...eventually!

While on the subject of choosing, I remember those really tough times when we have to choose between extremes. Black or white... up or down... no gray area... no in betweens. Sometimes, you really don't want to choose either but you have to...

It's like when you're in a fight. It's either you hit or you get hit. Of course, you wouldn't want some jerk mar your pretty face or mess your teeth that you have painstakingly set straight with braces... you get the point right? There's always the natural instinct to protect and preserve oneself, or people important to you.

I think that sometimes, it takes more courage to fight. It takes more strength to choose something that you don't totally agree on, but you have to do it anyway.

What the heck am I saying??? I'm going to sleep now...

-ber Months

It's September and the weather is crazy!

One moment, the blasted sun is shining its way inside crevices and what not and suddenly skies are turning gray as rain begins to fall. It's no wonder a lot of people I know are getting sick.

Anyway, being in the -ber months would mean Christmas will be around the corner... and then birthday ko na! ^__^ I strolled around Megamall and they're playing Christmas tunes already. Yep! Filipinos are so excited when it comes to the Yuletide Season. I guess it does lift one's spirit to know that despite the hustle and bustle of life, there will always be time to celebrate life.

Work is starting to be hectic. At least I'm not as confused as I was 2 months ago. I'm trying to make sure that I know what I'm doing. If not, I ask a lot (if not all) of people who can help me. Of course, I try to help other people too... love life and what-not (--> ha! sa akin pa lumapit!).

Anyway, I'm very happy with the company I have. I'm starting to go out with people I don't really know and spend time getting to know them. Of course, there's Gracie and aR who have been pillars. Since Gracie's moving to the 7th floor next week, might as well bond with my team, right?

The work on the house is starting to take shape. Although this week has been the worst ever! I do hope that nothing can surpass what happened! I complained twice already to dad. Please don't blame me. It's really hard living these past few months! And I only signed up for discomfort for up to 3 months lang! I'm not being maarte... I'm keeping it real. I do NOT like my bathroom ceiling with holes in them! I hope that our complaints would improve work around here.

Anyway, I just hope that the house will be finished before the end of the year. Grabe naman pag hindi pa natapos at nag-birthday na ako!

sorry...

I may have forgotten to say "thank you" in the midst of my complaints.

I may have forgotten to say "i love you" in the midst of my anger.

I may have forgotten to say "sorry" in the midst of my finger-pointing.

I may have forgotten to say "how are you?" in the midst of my hectic life.

I may have forgotten to say a lot of things.... "I am only human", I would say; and it's not even a valid reason!

I have been thinking these past few weeks and all I ever did was give off negative energy. I try to hide it, oh God, the pains I go through to hide it. Sometimes I turn into a ball of wreck and I'm glad I have friends who stay by my side. I'm living my own hell. A hell I can't even get out of. A hell I created for myself and therefore, a hell only I can get rid of.

I want to be happy again. The genuine, innocent happiness I felt when I was a child. It's slowly getting out of my grasp.

Please help me bring it back.

I need it to keep my sanity...

taking a trip to la-la-la land.

I was able to chat again with my best friend today.

For some reason, I felt this tremendous sadness come over me. It's been more than a year since she left for the States and I guess I have been missing the times when I go to her house and just hang out. Sometimes, I would commute from the condo and have impromptu sleepovers. I would then go back to Katipunan early morning wearing the clothes I have the day before and prepare for class.

We even prepared a surprise birthday party for Kim at her house.

Then she went to my condo one time for a sleepover and we couldn't get the damn can of spam to open. But we had fun.

Our goodbye wasn't even a grand one. I had an allergy attack and was rushed to the hospital. She visited me the next morning and that was the last time I saw her. My last picture with her was in my camera phone.

I guess this feeling started when aR and I went to her condo so I could do...stuff... and her condo was near Jem's house. I realized that I missed this place. It used to be a safehouse for me, when she was there and Aja and sometimes Rafa. I don't go there anymore, no reason to.

Well, anyway, Jem told me that Koyang had a baby girl! Tita na siya ulit! Rafa won't be lonely na. I'm so glad for them. Time passes by so quickly. People are starting to have their own lives, own families.

cheese popcorn residue on my fingertips....

...and a lot of other things I can't seem to shake from me.

Things have gotten interesting lately... and more hectic. I didn't even notice that the week had ended and a new month is about to start.

I've been looking back on the year before. How childish and immature my goals were compared to what I have been thinking now. I cringe at the thought of the times when my heart was all out for something I can only be a spectator in. At least I tried than never having the courage to do it at all...

Speaking of courage, I mark this week as a milestone. I finally had the courage to talk to a certain someone. Ha! To those who thought I would never do it... up yours! And who said women have to be timid? With the way guys ask us out, our race probably would've been extinct at the turn of the millennium.

The last statement is NOT a generalization. Just pointing things out. Not all guys are like this. And I've had my share naman of interaction.

No, I will NOT expound my last statement.

Last Friday, I had dinner with Queeny and some of my teammates (?!) for the Japan Project. It was a bit awkward for me since I was very late and couldn't understand half of the things they said because most of them happened when they were in Japan. Queeny was kind enough to fill me in naman and as the night started to settle, I became more comfortable with them.

Yesterday, I spent the whole day outside from 6am to 1am Sunday morning. I was in Tuh-gaye-tay with my fellow lectors and we were planning the whole day about our ministry. They made me speak a lot because I'm the youngest in the group. I gave out speeches about being a triangle (change) trying to fit into a square (paradigms) because these people aren't really my peers. They were more like my aunts and uncles. At the end, I felt more involved...and I feel a rush of hectic-ness coming my way. I was volunteered (which I agreed naman) to be part of the Performance Feedback committee. Tomorrow night, I'll be starting my handover training in one of the lectors' house.

Tita Emmy's house in Tuh-gaye-tay was great. The weather was cool and calm. A really nice place to relax and get away from it all.

Ate Rose, Ate Dennise, Ate Donna and I decided to go to the CSA Alumni Homecoming. Batch '81 was the sponsor this year as it is their silver year. I never knew Monsour del Rosario was an Augustinian. And apparently, a lot of alumni were mestizos. Konti lang ang indio. I'm guessing most of them lived in Dasma or Forbes and since this is a school run by Spanish Augustinian Priests (go Fr. Rodriguez and Fr. Manzana!), I guess they have faith in the school system.

It was fun, but the guys smiling/leering (whatever it is they make with their face when they're drunk) at me were old--> as in dad-old.


I also got to read the 2nd reading today and I couldn't be more disappointed. It was all about women being subservient to their husbands. I wanted to be the last proclaimer to read this stuff out loud to a congregation. Isn't fair share and equality enough? All I'm asking is that I get to do the things I want without my husband, or boyfriend (whoever comes first) nagging me. Sure, I can be ladylike if I want but I'm an empowered woman.

Today, my sister and I watched Click. Yes, we're having this strategy to watch movies during its 2nd-3rd week. Unless some hot guy asks me out to watch the latest movie, we're sticking to this plan. I came out of the cinema, looking absolutely like a girl who just cried. I can never hide the fact that I just cried. The skin around my eyes are swollen and red, as well as my nose.

And I think I saw one of my Freshies in Powerplant Mall. I'm not really sure if he recognizes me but I gave him a hint of a smile. Baka feeling niya I'm hitting on him pag di nya ako kilala! hehe. Anyway, my sister's kinda cool with me going around the mall, pointing out things I will buy in the distant future. Sabi nga ni Madonna, we are living in a material world.

Anyway, back to a new week. New challenges (who shall I break this time?). New adventures (where shall I go?). New friends (who will I make bola to?).

I'm counting the days till our house is finished. No more leaks and spills. Hurrah!

Of Greetings and Endings.

Here are some of the closing greetings (??) aR and I made.... just insert your name after the greetings.


Warmest of warm regards

Hot regards *wink*

Lady-in-waiting

Sinfully yours

I am gorgeous

Lovingly single

Yours in spirit

Yours in

Inventing

I who must not be named

Tiger-tamer

*wink*wink*

Hugs and kisses

Forever yours

Mabuhay ka

I don't like beef

You can never afford me

Goddess in heat

Delicious

Available during weekends

Major credit cards accepted

I will hunt you down if you don't reply

Call me


There you go! Use sparingly. ^_^

Expressions of Undisguised Hatred

I blame a single person for making me feel this way.

Everyday, I loathe going back home. No, it's not because of the people. It's the house itself. It's already the rainy season and our house is far from its completion. We have leaks all over, molds forming everywhere (I swear I'm going to die of allergy complications) and disgusting insects all over the place.

I'm glad we sued you, you son of a bitch! And I hope you rot forever in your hole. May other people know your malicious intentions and never get you as their contractor. We're living in miserable conditions but I do wish and hope that even in your dreams you are plagued with your own problems.

You have caused many people a lot of problems. Not just us but your own family as well. You are taking them down with you and the only thing they did was be related to you. And it wasn't even their fault!

May God help your soul.

My Little Prince

I have always wondered who will be able to tame me. Someone who can make me turn the other way and never look back. A person who will make me realize that he is the one who is most important to me, the most unique person among 6 other billion people. And if he is gone, the stars wouldn't shine as bright.

And in turn, my actions would have tamed him. To him, I am unique... to me, he is unique in all the world. We are responsible for each other forever. We make our sunsets lovelier with each passing day.

And yet to be tamed is also to risk being hurt. One can not fully comprehend what love really is unless you have experienced being hurt deeply.

I have longed for my prince, to come down from the stars and show me the beauty of simplicity, to never long for more and to find that infinite finiteness in him that makes me see the brightness of the stars on dark nights.

Like a Kid Again

Before anything else, my chatbox is now up and running! I hope no one spams this again. >_<

Sunkissed goddess will be totally pissed!

Anyway, my sister and I went to Galleria to watch a movie and look around at Toys'R Us. The first Toys'R Us we went to was the one in Hong Kong. I was so fascinated by this telescope and begged my dad to buy it for me... that time I was still in awe at the heavens and loved astronomy. He said it was too big for me to bring back to Manila... *sob*...
We also went to Toys'R Us in Jakarta, which is now Ranch Market. It's near Pondok Indah Mal. I used to be a fan of Barbie.

Anyway, I felt like a kid again as I gawked at toys. I wanted the Disney Princess Barbie and vowed to myself to create a collection when the house renovation is done. Then there was Tamagotchi...

I want one!!! But it's so expensive....

I stared at it longingly... knowing that this is just a phase...a hype... for like 10 years already.

But I want one...

I want one....

And the Barbies are also expensive...

I wanted Sleeping Beauty... she's my favorite.

I want....