More for you.. less for me

I spent my Saturday walking with God.

We went to the different communities outside the village and did a survey for our Parish. Our assigned place was Sitio Sampalucan. It was given that name because everyone in that neighborhood sell sampaloc candies for a living.

We started out very early (for a Saturday morning) around 9am and met with the coordinators. I was dressed down (as always) in tshirt, jeans and rubber shoes. I was wearing sunblock and that was it for 'makeup'. We went to each of the houses and interviewed people. What they do for a living.. how many children they have.. are they married in the Church... it was like Marketing all over again. Demographics is one of the most labor-intensive surveys ever! For us lectors, we were given a task of surveyin 140+ families! That morning, we were only 9 and every one had to interview at least 10 families.

Their houses were very small. It had the most basic of necessities. Some homes have 4 families living in them. Their rooms were smaller than mine and it already housed the living room, dining room, kitchen, toilet and bedroom. Let us not forget the fact that they have 4 children or so per family.

Outside was no different. There were rats outside and I was fortunate enough to see a rat dying from poison with children staring and playing with it until it breathed its last. Trash was everywhere and there was a creek under them. Some even had animals and the smell made you gag. The smell was foul. I tried to be as neutral-faced as possible. I didn't want anyone to feel that I offend them with my reaction to their place.

As noon was approaching, I was feeling quite sad. A lot of people I have interviewed here lived way below the poverty line. Only 1 parent was working and the single income was not enough to provide for the basic needs. Some were already widowed and had to be father and mother at the same time. For them, life was like that. It's either you work hard or you get hungry.

We went home around lunch time. We were glad we finished more than half of the target number. At that time, I was starving from walking around and my throat hurt from all the talking and questioning. My feet ached as we had to walk the whole way back to the church.

I groaned again when I realized I had to go back in the afternoon. It was one of my duties to make sure that an officer is present in all the shifts. It was just my bad that I was the only officer available in the afternoon. This time there were only four of us left. We wanted to finish the survey quickly so we don't have to go again the next day. If we wanted to finish today, we have to accomplish 15 families in less than 3 hours. I had to leave by 4pm because I was supposed to serve at the 6pm mass.

This time, I was taken to the deeper levels of the community. To get to the other side.. you had to pass through someone's house. It was so weird. We were saying, "Paumanhin, makikiraan lang po," to the family that lived there as we used their house to get to the other side. One the other side, there were more families, huddled in one-room apartments with 4 children playing outside. It was a sight I would never forget.

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A friend of mine asked.. "If there is a God, why is there suffering? Why are there people in pain?"

One this is for sure. It was not God that brought suffering to man. It was man who did it to himself. It was man who did it to his fellow men. Had there been no free will, we lived according to God's divine plan. To be good humans who feared God and respected His creation.

But man was given free will. The freedom to choose between right and wrong. Most of the time, man will choose what is good for him... and most of the time, what he chooses may be good for him but not for other. He becomes selfish and materialistic. Doing everything he can to be "happy"... even if it meant stepping on other people for his own good.

Man is not evil. Man is actually inclined to the good because he was created in God's image and likeness. Sometimes, he forgets that there are other people affected by his decisions and they pay for his 'good'.

That is why we see suffering. Of course, it is not our intention to hurt people. If possible, we would avoid making other people get hurt. But most of the time, we have to hurt them to get what we want.

With those in mind, it will take more than time to stop the hurting. It needs a radical change of heart. A change to think beyond what is good for oneself and to involve others and make them happy as well.

What a fantasy.. =(

Time to catch a shooting star

I spent the weekend contemplating on my life. Last week I though everything was falling apart; and a lot of people seemed to notice it. I won't even try to describe how I looked... ^_^

But I'm very happy that I'm finally seeing the light. It's as if I solved a math problem I've been trying to crack for days. The whole time it was already staring at me in the face. Had it been a human, it would've given me a broken nose for being so stupid to see it.


It started last Tuesday night. Mom and dad noticed I was feeling down when I got home. They decided to cheer me up by watching a movie with them. We've never really sat down as a family and watched DVDs at home. It was usually every man for himself. If you wanted to watch, just pop the DVD into the player by yourself. No one's obliged to watch with you.

We watched The Notebook. As corny as it sounds, I've never watched the movie, despite the high ratings it got. I guess I didn't have the time to watch it back then. It was one of my Mom's favorites. It was also a surprise that Dad watched it with us! He was never a movie-person. Or usually, he'd watch at his own pace. We fixed the sofa bed in the living room and my mom and I sat on it, with legs stretched out in front of us, with pillows and Pagong. It was the works.
Dad had a beer in his hand and sat in his recliner. The lights were off too, as if we were in a movie house. It was such a sweet movie. I cried buckets that night. It was one of those movies that you would avoid watching in a movie house coz you'd go out with a very red face with swollen eyes. Still, watching with my parents, I tried hard to supress the sobs... I don't really like crying in front of people (and will do everything in my power not to do that!). It was really gross. I was holding Pagong and the top of his head was damp with my tears.

As soon as the movie ended, I quickly said goodnight and went up to my room and let it all out. Supressing sobs makes my head hurt. At least I could cry in the comfort of my room... but nooooo....

Mom called my cellphone, she asked me if I could go down and turn off the blasted DVD player and TV. Of course, I had to go down and teach them how to eject the DVD and turn it off... seriously, it was either they're too lazy to do it or they really don't know... and I'm desperately hoping it's the former. They saw my very red nose and teary eyes and asked why I cried.

"It's because the movie was cute. They died but they were in each other's arms. I could never ask for a sweeter death when I'm with the man I love."

The next night, dad invited us to watch The Godfather Trilogy. I myself have been intrigued with such a classic and critically acclaimed film. This time, my brother was with us. Dad was now in the sofabed with mom and me while Pat took the recliner. The 1st part was 3 hours long but it was really good.

The night after, we watched the 2nd part and it was almost 4 hours! I nearly fell asleep right then and there! Some parts were boring but I wanted to look out for those intense scenes and dialogues. I was really zonked after watching the movie.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to watch the last movie. Though they watched that Friday night, I had preferred to watch Enchanted with my officemates. It was a feel-good movie, as Kathy said. ^_^

Yes, I'm starting to feel better now.

Yuletide Gushings

Last Saturday, I spent the night decorating the house with Christmas lights, decors and the Christmas tree. Unbelievable as it sounds, I've never decorated a Christmas tree so this one's my reluctant masterpiece. Our theme for this year was golden yellow and burgundy... so I kinda spent my Saturday evening jamming glittery and shiny Christmas balls into the poor tree. We added some simple yellow lights and mom made the finishing touches by adding ribbons to the tree.

Mom fondly told us that when we were little, she was always so hyped up on decorating the house during Christmas. She loved to see our faces smile whenever the lights are on. And those days, we'd have a competition who got the biggest and most number of gifts. We'd try to collect and count them and then wait for midnight on the 25th. And we always saved Santa's gifts for last. Coz they were always the biggest, heaviest and best gifts we ever got. :)

Last Saturday, I had a hardcore session on Christmas decors. I admit that I'm not domesticated but I guess it's not so bad to start now. Especially since I'm planning to get an apartment in the not-so-distant-future. Hello I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-C-E!

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I remember October-November last year... we were forced out of our house and then stayed at this old yet neat apartment in Makati. It was soooo much like in the 80s movies I see in Cinema One. The furniture was very old school and it reminded me so much about my childhood. It was a fun time last year. I got to commute everyday! It's fun at first but then it gets tiring, especially since I had to bring a laptop every single time.

At the very least, I find myself very much drawn to the mall across the street. I was in Glorietta every waking moment I'm available! The shops were so near... the cinemas were so convenient (one time, Mao and I watched a movie coz he had to wait for his gf to finish work.. the movie we watched was Cake) ^_^ oohhhh the memories! At that time, all you needed was money!

I have a lot more to gush about... but I'm to sleepy now.. I'll continue tomorrow.

Musings of a Happy Girl

I remember it's been a year since we moved to an apartment in Makati. It was a nice experience but under difficult circumstances..

Our house was still under renovation when a very destructive typhoon hit our city. We didn't have power and water.. all our stuff were being put into plastic and moved around. As each section of our house was torn, we had to huddle into the unaffected parts until the whole place was uninhabitable and it was making a mess of our lives... physically, psychologically, hygienically!

Anyway, it was fun taking the train from the apartment to the office. And the weather wasn't so hot so I enjoyed walking out. The apartment had electricity included in the rent so we got to enjoy the aircon every night. Oh joy!!

It was the moving and the packing that sucked... I was never an organized lady *cough* and my mom would always tell me my room is as messy as a boy's. I could never get my room organized.

Anyway, I'm enjoying the comfort of having my own room. Everything included!


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I saw this site of a friend. I just couldn't help but laugh. I'm sorry, he's such a good friend but... hell! He sucks at pictures. It's the same 'pa-cute' pose over and over and over again. It really doesn't suit him! All of the pictures he takes with his girlfriend is the same. I can never stress enough that all of their poses are the same. The only thing that tells you that this is another day and place is that their clothes are different.

He's such a weirdo!

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Yes... I'm happy today.

Suicidal

I indulged myself with really rich hot chocolate, twice! The feeling was ecstatic. It was bliss. That's coz I'm on vacation. :)

Vacations give me an excuse to let go. To be free from self-imposed restrictions such as dieting. Especially when I'm on out-of-town trips where the food here is unlike anywhere else's! So of course you try taste as much of the local food here as possible. Suicidal! Suicidal!

Damn all these delicious food! That's why my diet will never work.. you had me suicidal! Suicidal!

Tomorrow we'll be going back to Manila. It was a well-deserved rest and relaxation. :) Too bad we won't come back here on December. I would have enjoyed the Christmas feel up here.

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I like roadtrips. There's a certain sense of uncertainty, and of course, the bonding that will happen in the car, in the coffeeshop, in the gas station... it's like a roadtrip is there because of the journey, not the destination.

I've always loved roadtrip with my family. We try to leave the house early in the morning, eat breakfast somewhere, continue on with the trip, stop at a gas station for CR breaks, eat lunch 5 towns away until finally arriving at the destination. At that day, the energy is spent on the journey and most of the time, the destination is just the finish line, not the starting point.

The longest roadtrip I've ever been to is when we went to Albay and Vigan. Both trips had us sitting on our asses for 12 hours... the 12 hours had included the stopovers and the occasional wrong/missed turns. At the end of a long drive, we'd be very glad that we finally arrived at our destination and just look for the inn we're supposed to stay. And then we'd just plop down on our beds and doze off.

There are still a lot of places we haven't been to. And with dad working out of the country, we only have a few options on when we can leave.

Sagada...

Banaue...

Tuguegarao... hmm, anong makikita dun?

Cagayan Valley... heard there's white water rafting there...

Corregidor... this isn't really a road trip but I really really really wanna go there!

Hidden Valley... just so I can say I've been there

La Union/Zambales.. I've always wanted to try surfing.

Thinking about it, there are a lot of places in the Philippines that are worth the roadtrips. It's also cheaper than going shopping in Hong Kong and Singapore and gambling in Macau. You get to be in touch with nature and the natural wonders we learned in Hekasi during our grade school years. Sometimes, going to those places are worth it. The pictures in the textbooks do not do justice to the beauty of our country.

Someday, I'll go to all of those places and do all of those things with my family, with my significant family and my family.