I just had to test you...
And you failed. Miserably.
Damn you
Friday, September 28, 2007
Breaking
I'm feeling down lately. I just need someone to tell me things will be ok (..hey, it's nice to dream once in a while). And lately, the person I need support from the most is the one person I feel detached from.
I feel lonely...
I feel lonely...
Monday, September 24, 2007
Lalaki sa Parola
It's a gay indie film. The characters are not celebrities... probably seen by the casting director while s/he was on vacation in a province. It was amateur. The sex scenes looked really wrong... and the actors looked tense and conscious of themselves.
The story was somewhat confusing.. until then end when we realized the parallelism of the old man cleaning graves and the lead actor. At first, we didn't mind that the 'flashback' character looked so much like the lead actor.. they were one in the same... *insert nervous laugh*
The story spoke of a diwata.. a fairy in the lighthouse, where the lead actor was keeper. Right then, we had quickly deduced that the diwata did not mean a spirit. It was one's inner self. That innate characteristic of us that our consciousness tries to bottle up. Our primal instinct? Our deepest, darkest desires that are conveniently taboo?
That's what the movie was all about... releasing your inner demons destroys relationships, destroys your loved ones.. and in the end, you destroy yourself.
heh
heh
heh
Sorry, that was a shallow explanation for what the movie was trying to tell us.. unfortunately, I was feeling shallow for watching that movie with my sister. She could not handle the homoerotic scenes.. and I feel sorry for her. I spent more than half the time consoling her while she squirmed in her seat, scratching my arm, anything!
What I had reflected on the movie was this (yes, I actually analyze gay soft porn): Do not release inner demons when you are not sure of it yourself. Accepting yourself and who you are may give you a happy ending. This one didn't.
At first, he was happy with the relationship that he had with the guy from the city. But then, when faced with the fact that he is gay (he used to have a fiancee before running off to the city in search of his soon-to-be-boyfriend)... he turns the other cheek. He hurts the only person who loves him and tries to go back to his past he can never have.
The story was somewhat confusing.. until then end when we realized the parallelism of the old man cleaning graves and the lead actor. At first, we didn't mind that the 'flashback' character looked so much like the lead actor.. they were one in the same... *insert nervous laugh*
The story spoke of a diwata.. a fairy in the lighthouse, where the lead actor was keeper. Right then, we had quickly deduced that the diwata did not mean a spirit. It was one's inner self. That innate characteristic of us that our consciousness tries to bottle up. Our primal instinct? Our deepest, darkest desires that are conveniently taboo?
That's what the movie was all about... releasing your inner demons destroys relationships, destroys your loved ones.. and in the end, you destroy yourself.
heh
heh
heh
Sorry, that was a shallow explanation for what the movie was trying to tell us.. unfortunately, I was feeling shallow for watching that movie with my sister. She could not handle the homoerotic scenes.. and I feel sorry for her. I spent more than half the time consoling her while she squirmed in her seat, scratching my arm, anything!
What I had reflected on the movie was this (yes, I actually analyze gay soft porn): Do not release inner demons when you are not sure of it yourself. Accepting yourself and who you are may give you a happy ending. This one didn't.
At first, he was happy with the relationship that he had with the guy from the city. But then, when faced with the fact that he is gay (he used to have a fiancee before running off to the city in search of his soon-to-be-boyfriend)... he turns the other cheek. He hurts the only person who loves him and tries to go back to his past he can never have.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Bye Bye Jakarta
For nearly 14 years, we have always been going to Jakarta for the summer holidays. With Dad's new assignment, there won't be any reason for us to go there anymore.
So the 1st week of September, we went there for the last time... here are some of the things I'll miss in Indonesia:
- Right-hand driven cars -- I had been very confused the first time I got there.
- The very posh malls -- the socio-economic gap in Indonesia is wider than the Philippines.
- The very cheap clothing -- we buy overruns at Fashion Warehouse. You'd never guess that the branded clothes I wear were bought 80% off the original price
- The very tasty snacks -- I fell in love with Chitato (light blue) and Cheetos (grilled chicken and corn) while we were still staying in Malang (it's a province near Indonesia's 2nd capital, Surabaya)
- The communication barrier -- like Filipinos, Indonesians don't know how to be discreet when they see something fascinating.. in this case me and my siblings talking in Tagalog.. they seem mesmerized.. hahahah
- The DIY sundaes at AM/PM -- similar to 7/11 here. When dad was first assigned to Jakarta, his office had a convenience store at the basement. You can then make your own sundae for around 30 pesos. All the toppings, caramel and chocolate syrup and soft ice cream you can cram in your plastic cup!
- The very cheap manga -- Indonesians translate Japanese manga to Bahasa and are sold for around 20 pesos per book. My sister and I would scramble to buy and translate them.. hence our slight skill at using Bahasa
- The Sunday morning cartoons in Bahasa -- whether it's RCTV/SCTV/Indosiar and what not, we loved watching Bahasa-dubbed anime (Dragon Ball, Sailormoon, etc). For some reason, it looks funny when they speak Bahasa
- Trips to Mangga Dua -- a more organized and airconditioned version of Divisoria, trips to Mangga Dua are stifling hot, full of traffic with motorcycles zooming past you. In the end, we go home with plastics full of DVDs, PS2 games and software. For mom, very nice imitations of designer bags. It's the pirate capital of Jakarta.
- "Aduh!" -- a famous Indonesian word.. literally meaning ouch, it may also mean a foiled plan, expression of embarrassment, impatience, wrong move... just like Homer's "d'oh!"
- Spicy food -- no delicacy in Indonesia is too spicy... which is just too painful for us. Water isn't enough!
- Those Indonesian names -- yes, we have friends named Kiki, Titi, Dodo, etc.
- One-way traffic -- it puts Makati to shame.
- Sunday masses -- it feels like home. Most of the active members in Church as Filipinos. Even the choir's Filipino.
- Pretending to be Indonesian -- I must be pronouncing something wrong... I know how to speak Bahasa but whenever I open my mouth, they'd always exclaim I'm a foreigner.. there goes my intent to haggle for a better price!
- Anonymity -- I can be anyone I want! Nobody knows me here!
Maybe Budapest won't be so bad. I'll try to make a similar list when I go there. ^_^
So the 1st week of September, we went there for the last time... here are some of the things I'll miss in Indonesia:
- Right-hand driven cars -- I had been very confused the first time I got there.
- The very posh malls -- the socio-economic gap in Indonesia is wider than the Philippines.
- The very cheap clothing -- we buy overruns at Fashion Warehouse. You'd never guess that the branded clothes I wear were bought 80% off the original price
- The very tasty snacks -- I fell in love with Chitato (light blue) and Cheetos (grilled chicken and corn) while we were still staying in Malang (it's a province near Indonesia's 2nd capital, Surabaya)
- The communication barrier -- like Filipinos, Indonesians don't know how to be discreet when they see something fascinating.. in this case me and my siblings talking in Tagalog.. they seem mesmerized.. hahahah
- The DIY sundaes at AM/PM -- similar to 7/11 here. When dad was first assigned to Jakarta, his office had a convenience store at the basement. You can then make your own sundae for around 30 pesos. All the toppings, caramel and chocolate syrup and soft ice cream you can cram in your plastic cup!
- The very cheap manga -- Indonesians translate Japanese manga to Bahasa and are sold for around 20 pesos per book. My sister and I would scramble to buy and translate them.. hence our slight skill at using Bahasa
- The Sunday morning cartoons in Bahasa -- whether it's RCTV/SCTV/Indosiar and what not, we loved watching Bahasa-dubbed anime (Dragon Ball, Sailormoon, etc). For some reason, it looks funny when they speak Bahasa
- Trips to Mangga Dua -- a more organized and airconditioned version of Divisoria, trips to Mangga Dua are stifling hot, full of traffic with motorcycles zooming past you. In the end, we go home with plastics full of DVDs, PS2 games and software. For mom, very nice imitations of designer bags. It's the pirate capital of Jakarta.
- "Aduh!" -- a famous Indonesian word.. literally meaning ouch, it may also mean a foiled plan, expression of embarrassment, impatience, wrong move... just like Homer's "d'oh!"
- Spicy food -- no delicacy in Indonesia is too spicy... which is just too painful for us. Water isn't enough!
- Those Indonesian names -- yes, we have friends named Kiki, Titi, Dodo, etc.
- One-way traffic -- it puts Makati to shame.
- Sunday masses -- it feels like home. Most of the active members in Church as Filipinos. Even the choir's Filipino.
- Pretending to be Indonesian -- I must be pronouncing something wrong... I know how to speak Bahasa but whenever I open my mouth, they'd always exclaim I'm a foreigner.. there goes my intent to haggle for a better price!
- Anonymity -- I can be anyone I want! Nobody knows me here!
Maybe Budapest won't be so bad. I'll try to make a similar list when I go there. ^_^
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